When did he change? When did he stop being my little boy that needed me to do everything?
He turned 10 and I swear he changed overnight. His kind, gentle manner is still present but masked by the teasing of his sisters, the questioning of everything (my nice way of saying arguing) the lack of motivation unless it involves food or fun, the questioning personal hygiene, and a desire to slip in potty talk into every conversation. The list could go on. He longs for independence and yet can't quite do it all on his own. He wants to learn new things but still gets scared and wants to be tucked in at night. He wants me not to be seen as much but be right there in the shadows. His favorite words right now are, "I KNOW!"
I have had to reevaluate my parenting style with him. Pray for Patience and ask myself if I am really listening to him and his desires, concerns, etc. Is this just the begining? How do I help him become confident and independent but still be his mother and not go crazy?
I love my boy! I wish he truly understood just how much. I wish he really knew that my thoughts are almost always centered on my children and wanting the very best for him. I want him to grow with fond memories of his childhood becoming a confident, happy, young man with a firm testimony in the gospel.
...and so I ask myself everyday, Am I doing it right? I wish I could do better! I wish that I didn't lose my patience. I wish I could protect him from hurt. I wish...
Maybe those of you with some experience and wisdom could pass along a few tips! I do have to say that Joe and I sat in church during the summer watching a young boy in front of us. His actions were exactly what we had been seeing from our boy and we were quite comforted to learn that he too was 10. After that my mom gave me a book and I laughed as I read it out loud describe a 10 year olds behavior and thought it could have been Taylor they were describing. There is hope...and to think we have two girls coming up...and we haven't even hit the teenage years yet...
4 comments:
Kathryn, you are expressing the same concerns every parent has. You are not alone. I know you are doing just fine and Taylor will be a wonderful young man, because he has two parents that are doing the right thing. Keep being an example and just have fun with him.
If I have only learned one thing from being a parent.....are you ready?.....
I don't know a darn thing and just when I thought I might have it figured out, the next one comes along a throws me a curve ball.
I guess it all makes for some entertaining stories at scrapbook retreat.
My heart ached as I read your post remembering well those very same concerns when my boys were growing up. Being a parent is the toughest job, but can be the most joyful. Something to think about--you are with your sweet little new baby all day, and he pretty much needs you for everything. And I bet you are loving that. Taylor is growing up and can do most everything for himself. It's probably as hard for him as it is for you that he doesn't need his mom as much anymore for his physical needs, but he just may need your love and affection more than ever as he makes this transition from boy to almost teen. If possible give him some of your time, one on one, doing what he wants to do each day. Even though he has a brother now, he still may feel a bit overwhelmed with all the feminine people in his family. Just some thoughts from an imperfect mother about those things I wish I would have done.
Just love him and be there to listen to his stories and whatever else he needs your ear for. I have a good bond with my boys and I am sure its because they know that they can come to me anytime to just talk or hang out with mom. I also try to find interest in what draws their interest. But most of all I am sure that Taylor knows you love hima nd that is the most valuable of anything you could do.
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